I am either the most successful or the most delusional one at this party.

I am gross. Really gross. But in a kind of awesome way. I feel like after three years I have finally reached the center of the tootsie pop that is being a college student. This is a beautiful thing.

Today was a brilliant cliche of the life that every post-secondary student needs to experience. Let me walk you through it:

2:00 pm: Wake up. Feel groggy. Hear roommates yelling downstairs. Get up grudgingly, grumbling about how you shouldn't have stayed up till 5:00 am, knowing perfectly well that you'll do the same thing tonight. Put on sweatpants, tie hair in a ponytail, and wash face with soap and water. Brush teeth. Decide that this is enough personal hygiene for today.

2:15 pm: Make a full pot of coffee. Yes, all for yourself.

2:30 pm: Turn on TV. Realize Batman Begins is on. Get excited. Pour coffee and settle in to watch Christian Bale kick ass.

3:15 pm: Hear stomach growling. Figure out that you're hungry. Pace back and forth in the kitchen trying to find food that you can consume.

3:30 pm: Still haven't found food. Decide that this is stupid, you're missing Batman being awesome. Find a pack of peanut butter cups and decide that this will make a sufficient breakfast.

4:00 pm: Batman Begins is over. Put on the Dark Knight. Roommate #1 sighs and mutters something about you watching batman 'again?'

4:30 pm: Oh shit, you have three term papers due next week. You should work on those.

5:00 pm: You should really, really work on those papers...

6:30 pm: The Dark Knight is over. Be sad that there isn't another installment yet. Spend half an hour googling images of Batman fighting things.

7:00 pm: Oh shit. Papers. Get out all needed supplies and resources and settle in to write papers.

7:15 pm: Roommates are both gone for the night. HOUSE TO YOURSELF! Decide that this calls for a guitar solo.

7:20 pm: Set up fender and amp and attempt flaming solo. Realize you're not very good at guitar solos. Maybe your guitar needs new strings?

7:25 pm: Shop online for new electric guitar strings.

7:30 pm: Okay, really now. Papers. You should really at least work on one. Settle down and try to get started on the easiest of the three.

7:35 pm: Sick of writing papers. Make a blog.


So here we are. I am a gross, useless amoeba. :)